Archive for March 2020

A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life. Christopher Germer On Grey’s Anatomy, a few of the surgeons have a pre-op routine. They stand with their legs apart. Hands on hips. Head tilted back. Eyes gazing upwards. It’s the superhero stance that…

Consider some of your very favorite things – the old sweatshirt you’ve had since college, your child’s drawing of you (you know…the ones with four fingers on each hand and blue hair), your favorite book with the bent cover. We appreciate these objects because in their imperfection – their incompleteness – they evoke emotion and…

Perfectionism tends to have a series of greatest hits – thoughts you think over and over and over.   “That’s not good enough.”“I should have done it better.”“I’m struggling and everyone has it all together.”“How come my house is messy and I’m getting take-out because there’s no time to cook and my kids haven’t done their…

We all have an inner perfectionist.  It may come out rarely or only in certain situations. It may be the dominant voice guiding everything.   “That really is not good enough”“You would look a lot better if you just (fill in the blank with mean words)”“Other parents are (fill in the blank with the Real Simple…

Do you hear that voice that says “that’s not good enough” and “it should have been better” in response to just about everything? Is it leading you to avoid starting or even completing tasks? Feeling badly about yourself?  This is perfectionism. Doubting yourself over and over. Seeking reassurance that your work is excellent and people…

You may have been told you’re a perfectionist by someone you love – a partner or a friend – or maybe it was your boss on a performance review.  Or you’re pretty sure you live your life in the all or nothing, success or failure world of perfectionism but you aren’t certain. A 2019 study…